Sunday, March 20, 2011

Random musings of footballers before they fall asleep…

Remy

"I can open your eyes." ... "Take you wonder by wonder." ... "Over, sideways and under." ... "On a magic carpet ride." ... "A whole new world." ... "A new fantastic point of view." ... "No one to tell us no." ... "Or where to go." ... Or say I'm actually riding Patrice Evra...

Crazy Eyes and Ice Cream Kid

If we're going to join forces as a nightmare fuel tag team, we need a joint catch-phrase. My vote is for: Icccccccccccccccccccccccce Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam. ... HOCKEY! ... No, that doesn't make sense. Like, the "Iccccccccccccce Creeeeeeeeeeeeam" thing makes sense because I smeared ice cream all over my face. ... HOCKEY! ... Again, I don't think you're getting it. ... HOCKEY! ... OK. Fine. This isn't going to work. Good luck making it on your own, weirdo. The meme game ain't easy...

Bastian Schweinsteiger

Dear God, Materazzi is annoying. ... Who describes what they're doing while picking a scab in the tunnel before a Champions League match? Gross. ... And then the way he described his bowel movements and what foods passed through his system in tact? Nauseating. ... If I ever went to a bed and breakfast and found him staying in the room next to mine, I would leave. Wouldn't even check out. I'd just leave immediately. ... I think...I think I hate him. ... Yes, I definitely hate him. .... It's simply impossible to like someone who brags about smelling like B.O. and fish sticks...

Didier Drogba

It's time for the proper f***ing disgrace! ... First, I was pushed aside the last two weeks so Kalou could cry about McNuggets and van Persie could talk about jokes that are not funny! That's an absolute f***ing disgrace! ... Then, I think I caught whatever disease Fernando Torres has that prevents him from scoring goals. That's a contagious f***ing disgrace. ... Then, Kalou was trying to tell me something after the Copenhagen match, but I couldn't hear what he was mumbling, so I had to ask him three times to repeat it and I still couldn't understand him so I just said "yeah" even though I had no idea what he said. That was an inaudible f***ing disgrace. ... Then, there were those times those two bald referees who probably hang out with Marco Materazzi on the weekends cheated us out of the Champions League. That...that was a...

Photos: Getty Images

Teri Hatcher Lauren Bush Natalie Zea Brody Dalle Taryn Manning

No comments:

Post a Comment